At our first meeting with Dr. Sipe, we were informed that my husband was "definitely not the problem." We were guided toward testing for unexplained infertility, and I shared that I felt I likely had PCOS. Dr. Sipe appeared skeptical of this. I cited concerns with weight, facial hair, hair loss, and cystic acne. He said that he was not concerned with my weight because I "fit in the chair I was sitting in" and that my skin was "beautiful." I again requested PCOS testing, he agreed. He left the room to get his nurses - my husband whispered, "I don't like that guy." I reassured him that he had many good reviews and one of our friends had worked with him. We should have gone with my husband's instinct.
PCOS was the diagnosis, and it was the correct one. Unfortunately, my husband's male factor infertility was not identified. This would continue to go undetected throughout our time with FCI.
We completed testing followed by three IUIs, which were unsuccessful (I was unsurprised). We… started IVF, the protocol was standard. I went to the egg retrieval and was placed in a room to wait. I could hear everything happening in the surgical suite next door which was, at minimum, uncomfortable. When it was my turn, I got into a physical position for the egg retrieval and the anesthesiologist said that he was going to give me something to relax me. As he prepared, a male nurse entered, pulled the drape up, exposing my naked lower half, and seemingly jammed what I assume was a speculum inside of me without a word. It was painful. I sat up and said "OW." That is the last thing I remember. Very disconcerting to wake up from surgery and wonder how my body was treated when I was asleep, considering how I was treated when I was awake and responsive. My husband had been told to wait at a park bench by the riverfront to collect me (due to COVID-19 protocols). A nurse walked me to a lobby area near the parking garage. "Where is your husband?" I told her he had been told to wait by the park benches. She told me to call and tell him to come and collect me near the elevators, and then she went back inside. I called my husband and, disoriented from anesthesia, explained to him where I was. I slumped against a wall and waited. When he found me, he asked, "Why did they leave you alone? They promised me you wouldn't be left alone." I still think that's a good question.
On the day of my retrieval, we retrieved a number of eggs, in the double digits. We had a significant drop off for fertilization and development. I talked to a nurse who encouraged me to freeze any embryos and request another retrieval. She checked my insurance policy and said that my insurance would approve, and that this would maximize my chances for a live birth, and the possibility of additional children. I agreed, this was what I wanted. Dr. Sipe called me that evening. When I picked up the phone, he said, "I hear you're trying to change my plan." I explained what happened. He said that I was requesting fertility preservation, not treatment, and that we would not proceed with another retrieval without significant cost. This was confusing, but I was OK with it. I later reviewed his notes from this phone call, which said that I would be 33 when returning for my second child, which is "still young." Suffice it to say that I will in fact be 33 when I have my first child.
Two days later we transferred our only embryo. It attached, but stopped developing, a chemical pregnancy. We were informed of this when a nurse called and said, "The good news is, your HCG is already almost back to zero. The bad news is, the pregnancy obviously isn't viable." I fail to see the "good news" in either statement. I went for a follow up blood draw, the phlebotomist told me how "depressing" her job was because she spent time with people who "can't have babies" all day while missing her little girl at home.
We scheduled a follow up appointment with Dr. Sipe, and a nurse called us to order meds beforehand. We ordered the meds, and each took a half day off from work. Our appointment was then delayed by 2-3 weeks, we were told that Dr. Sipe had planned a vacation to Florida which overlapped with our scheduled appointment. We accepted the new appointment. We met with Dr. Sipe, he explained why my response had been less than ideal. I asked about the 15-18 pounds I gained in the days after my egg retrieval and cited concerns about OHSS. He told me that I likely got stressed out and "ate a little too much." I am not a dietitian, but I know that it is not possible to gain 15-18 pounds in four days through overeating. I asked about the number of embryos and dropoff, he told me my expectations were too high. He said that I was a person who wanted to control every aspect of the process and that he could tell what kind of patient I was from my "numerous phone calls and questions in conversations with staff," and that "people like that struggle with parenthood, which is another thing you can't control." If you are a fertility patient, I don't even need to say how this felt.
We had already ordered medication and therefore were "in" for another round with this doctor. I went to my first appointment for bloodwork and ultrasound. The phlebotomist was, curiously, wearing sunglasses to protect herself against COVID. She missed my vein several times and said that it was difficult to see when wearing the sunglasses. No kidding. We proceeded with the second retrieval, it was a failed cycle due to poor response to the protocol and was converted to an IUI, also not successful. We scheduled another follow up for several weeks later, and each took a half day off from work. Someone called us and said that the appointment (which was two weeks away) needed to be canceled due to an emergency and they had rescheduled me for 3 weeks after the original appointment. I immediately canceled. Someone called u
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