Dr. Mary Jane Massie, MD

I was diagnosed with cancer a couple months after getting engaged to be married - we postponed our wedding till six months after our final surgery. I was never good at asking for help before - but for the first time in my life - I actually asked for help from my siblings and I let them know what I needed. However, a number of members of my family could not have done less to help and more to make my husband and I feel unimportant and insignificant at our own wedding. Considering my recent health concerns and the surgeries and complications of my surgeries -I was feeling physically and emotionally spent and I actually wanted to postpone my wedding till I was feeling better - but I was told that life was short and I should go through with it. The weekend of the wedding, I was devestated by the complete lack of support, and presence by my immediate family. After the wedding - I felt like I saw my family for who they were and how they felt about me and I fell into a deep depression. … In sharing with Dr. Massie what had happened -I shared that I couldn't even bring myself to finish the thank you notes as I was just so depressed about the whole event. Her response was that she thought it was terribly rude not to write prompt and thoughtful thank you notes. I happen to be a clinical social worker, and I have sat across from people suffering from all sources of depression with all sorts of symptoms - never did I hear of shaming a client as an effective means of treatment for depression.