Christopher Fraczek

I had a disappointing experience with this therapist via tele-health. This happened in 2021 and I needed a lot of time to process it. I want to warn others about how therapy can potentially harm clients. I saw this therapist virtually almost weekly for about a year and a half. What ended up being our last session went like the following. He waited until the end of the session to bring up a topic that he knew would upset me. After I became distressed he judged me harshly about something which completely caught me off guard. He actually laughed at me and forced me into an argument that I was not prepared for. He seemed to enjoy this interaction while acting extremely careless, smug and passive aggressive. In the past if he wanted to challenge me he would kindly say so, but that didn't happen this time. I felt like I was being cornered and victim blamed. His tone and approach was very different from what I had gotten used to. After our quick argument it was time to end the session and we… both said goodbye. I knew that this would be our last interaction because I no longer felt safe with this person. I also want to mention that we had planned to meet in person for the first time for the next session, so he did this knowing how awkward our first in person session would be. It felt like a weird power play in order to put me on the defensive. I decided to access his notes about me and read through them. Not surprisingly the note about the last session didn't mention the argument at all, but it did acknowledge my emotional dysregulation, which he helped initiate. This was helpful information for me because it told me that this therapist will do things in session that he will selectively leave out of his notes, and this is completely legal. I think it's reasonable for me to feel unsafe in that type of situation. Also, I noticed many things in the notes that were just not true. The therapist was filling in the blanks based on limited information and pushing his own narrative about me. Who would benefit from this? Looking back there were many things the therapist did that were unprofessional and unhelpful. He often talked down to me as if I were a child, or someone with limited intelligence. He noted I had "Average Intelligence" so my guess is that he decided to treat me with a low level of respect meant for someone who is just not smart enough to notice it. Looking back I realized that I let a lot of things slide because I didn't understand how disrespectful they were at the time. I believe that many people who have experienced emotional abuse would agree that this is a common problem for them. I was really struggling and didn't have the capability to manage the therapist’s professionalism as well as my own unpredictable intense emotions. Other unprofessional behavior included the following. The therapist rolled his eyes at me many times. He would often talk to me in a condescending and patronizing tone. His phone would usually ding each session and he would check it. One time he asked me if I slept with clothes on or off and the conversation didn’t go anywhere or have a point. He forgot things that I had told him and I had to repeat myself many times which was frustrating. I believe the therapist summed me up, didn’t pay close attention to details and decided to essentially put me in my place. Now I realize that I have made a lot of progress completely on my own. I understand that it is up to me to work on myself, especially when I have access to a lot of free information and tools. What I learned from this particular therapist is that people including mental health professionals will treat you with the level of disrespect that you allow. A note to therapists, please understand that just because you have knowledge, training and credentials that doesn’t mean trust is assumed, it still needs to be earned. You are treating very vulnerable and traumatized people and doing the bare minimum is just not good enough.