I entered the Hopkins network, because my health was failing, and no medical professional could give me an answer. I had hope that Hopkins would treat me as a human being and address the ROOT of my issues, rather than simply treating the symptoms and dismissing me just as other facilities had. I could not have been more wrong.
I have a decade of photos and labs that show the actual manifestation of physical symptoms and bodily functions being askew. For a decade, I was dismissed and even demonized by docs. When doctors refused to provide answers about my failing health and instead BLAMED me for the things happening to my body, I started to do online research. Yet, even when I was PUSHED to a place of having no choice but to do my own research, I was demonized for playing “Doctor Google” by Hopkins professionals.
Should I have rolled over and died instead? Apparently so.
When my PCP in Frederick literally ghosted me after an appointment in which I had an active infection, she… received no recourse for ignoring me for over 1.5 weeks. In fact, when she repeatedly ignored my messages within the portal, I had to spend hours out of my day until I was able to contact the office manager, who then questioned my PCP between patients in the hallway. The PCP then simply said, “Her case is too difficult for me.”
I would have respected her willingness to refer me out, except she had ignored me while I had an ACTIVE infection for 1.5 weeks. I then had to wait for another appointment with another physician weeks later and then had to pay for that appointment ON TOP of the one I had paid for during which my infection was not addressed. The office manager had assured me this wouldn’t happen, yet here we are.
I attempted to work with a patient advocate during this time, but the advocate also eventually quit responding, and I was left feeling absolutely crazy and as if I was nothing more than a burden.
But the worst part is that the fact that the basis of ALL of my “strange” health conditions was simple: My then-wife was covertly, emotionally abusing me to the point that it was causing my health to fail. She came to 90% of appointments with me, interacted with the docs, and hovered to make sure I didn’t illuminate the abuse, and the medical “professionals” at this facility treated ME like I was the problem—like I was CRAZY.
Because of Hopkins’ unwillingness to listen to me when I told them I was so sick I was dying, coupled with the fact of the mental toll that took on me, I nearly died. Not only did my health fail to the point that I came VERY close to death, but I also nearly ended my own life, because between Hopkins and my wife (verbally and non-verbally) telling me I was just “crazy,” I started to question the value of my own life.
If it hadn’t been for a referral to a local oncologist OUTSIDE of the Hopkins network in Frederick, I would absolutely be dead. Not only due to the undiagnosed and fatal nutritional deficiencies I had due to the abuse and being unable to eat, but also from lack of hope.
Seven months ago I left my abusive relationship, and in December of 2022, I had labs run again by a facility that was NOT Hopkins. Every single health condition had resolved itself. I take NO medication, and issues such as thyroid dysfunction and diabetes and blood pressure NO LONGER exist in my health profile. Am I a walking miracle? I don’t think so. I left the catalyst/abuse.
Am I unique? Again, I don’t think so. But Hopkins is also NOT unique in their unwillingness to listen to and advocate for patients. It should be criminal, but it’s instead ACCEPTED. I was never crazy, and I WAS sick, but this facility didn’t care, and it was happy to instead tell me why I was the problem. I spent SEVEN MONTHS being silent about the issue, even after nearly dying last spring. I told myself that this facility didn’t need to be called out; instead they needed to learn and employ a trauma-informed approach to their practice.
But I know that’s not goin
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